have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
