Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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