i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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