After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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