i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
