is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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