i think my tv is drunk
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
