Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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