I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
