Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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