the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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