I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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