Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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