I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize