I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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