so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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