I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
