I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
