he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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