She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize