the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
