Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
This is my gift to your gina
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
