I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
