He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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