No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
