Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
don't judge my taste in strippers
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
