return my video game
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
