Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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