is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
