Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
