party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
