i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
