somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
