your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
