it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
