if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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