i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
