Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
