Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
