Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize