I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You did what with his pubic hair?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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