So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
