Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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