Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
