I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
