a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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