this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
