Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
