Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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