i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
