Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
