Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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