Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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