last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
