Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
