would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
