Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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