chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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