HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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