from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize